Hated on a couple of things, and a couple of people. Hated for their insentitivity, for having no choice, for life being so unpredictable that it can flip your reality upside down, for the pain that people suffer at the hands of those closest to them, for the loss of a beloved, for the sheer helplessness at all the wrong moments.
Add in to that a healthy dose of self-recrimination and guilt, and you get a real doozy of emotions. How I wish things were different! That I had other options, and could balance the priorities in my life without feeling tied down or bitter.
Life is unfair, wah wah wah. Now what? Bitch a little more? Everything is still exactly the same. Power to the bitching!
I can't wait for the day I look back on this and think "oh, that wasn't so bad! It all worked out for the best!". It's the only thing that keeps me going.
*Maria note* Yes, I know Fati wrote this post, but I feel exactly like this as well these days, I swear we share a brain.
2 comments:
Every once in a while, hating is totally healthy. As long as you don't keep hating, you'll be fine.
*hug*
*huuuuuuug* I feel that lack of control and helplessness and pain sometimes too. It happens. oh well. sometimes i lock myself up with these feelings because i can't seem to get out, but other times i just go out and even though it's really difficult to let the feeling go, if i spend time with friends doing something different, it can make all the difference in the world to my attitude. anyway i know there isn't any easy way to feel different, but for every low there should be a high and i hope you get some of the good times too. <3
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