How to make an awesome roast

First, you need a good cut of meat. Not too lean, not too fat, not too lopsided, and preferably very large. I personally like eye of round or rump roast cuts.

Take your roast out of the packaging, wash it in cold water for a bit, then put it in your roaster pan and stab it multiple times with a knife. If you want to imagine a particular person in your head and work out some stress, that’s up to you, just don’t mangle your roast. The goal is to make enough incisions that you will then stuff with slices of garlic to give your roast a delicious garlicky flavouring. If you don’t like garlic, we can’t be friends anymore, so find another recipe!! If you are really lazy, you can skip the garlic, but I find it’s not as good.

Proceed to slice garlic cloves into decently thick slivers and poke them into the incisions you made. Try and get them all the way in so you don’t see the tops poking out.

Next, rub your roast with mustard. Let it sit there in all its garlicky mustard glory while you slice your onions, potatoes, turnips, carrots, etc. I like to arrange my onion ring slices against my roast, then put the turnips at the bottom of the roasting pan mixed with the carrots, and then the potatoes on top of those, since potatoes tend to cook faster than turnips and carrots. The latter two root vegetables also add flavour to your broth, so best to keep them as priority for immersion. Add about a cup of water

Now it is time for spices. Salt and pepper are a must, I also like Oregano, Sage, Marjoram, more Garlic, a bit of chili powder. You can also experiment with Ginger and Rosemary. Skeena, if you use masala or curry I will slap you.

Put your hefty roasting pan in the oven at 375 degrees for 20-30 mins, then add more water (you want to get the spices to soak down); it’s up to you how much to put. Don’t cover your roast though, I usually add enough water to get it to ½ or 3/4ths covered, but I like a lot of broth so I can make soup. If you want gravy or a fuller flavour to your broth, add less water. Lower the temperature to 325 degrees, bake till your potatoes are almost soft, then turn off the oven and let your roast sit till the potatoes are soft. If you have a skinny roast, beware, it may cook faster than the potatoes. Get a nice, plump, juicy roast and save yourself from having to worry!

Last step: invite me over to taste-test.