Okay, really? What is the deal with dreams? Random neuronal misfirings my ASS. I don't know what part of my day could possibly give rise to images involving dragons, demons, and serial killers. Steven Spielberg would make a fortune if he put out a movie based on some of my dreams. Think of it! Magnificent dragons, intense battles, widespread destruction...hrrm...maybe I should go for James Cameron instead, what with Avatar and all. I'd start documenting my dreams in a journal except I worry that if someone accidentally read it they would have me committed for being a psychotic, homicidal maniac. You think SAW and The Cell were freaky? Take a trip through my brain and you'll see they were children's entertainment in comparison. I honestly scare myself sometimes, worrying over such suppressed violence.
I am just so TIRED of waking up feeling shitty and shaken to the core, seeing the most horrific images flashing before my eyes even in the light of day. I'm tired of never feeling well rested, or waking up light-hearted and fresh. What the hell is this? I'm not unnecessarily stressed, I don't watch horror/gore, I have upbeat, happy go lucky friends. WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM???
I am SO tired of it all that I'm half considering seeing a counselor or sleep therapist about it. The only hold up is whether or not I can afford the sessions. I talk to so many people and most of them don't recall their dreams beyond a few seconds after awakening. Then there's me...who can still recall dreams from years ago. You know I once had a nightmare so bad I couldn't sleep for nearly week, and couldn't even be alone in my apartment because I could still SEE it while I was awake. And nothing helps. No relaxing music, no reciting surahs or prayers, no watching comedy serials before bed. Nothing. I'll go to sleep with Abba strumming through my head, dream of someone being shoved in a garbage compacter, and then wake up with Abba again, albeit accompanied by a rather gruesome visual. How freaking messed up is that? Who are those fortunates who dream happy or not at all? What's their secret? How do I get me summa dat? How do I turn myself off? I'm just so tired.
On a side note....No wonder people find me scary, I clearly give off deranged vibes that people pick up on a subconscious level.
"She smiles a lot but there's a mania behind that smile"
4 comments:
Oh that is a bit disturbing...I get bad dreams every once in a while...but i can always relate them back to an incident that bothered me or maybe indigestion or the room being too hot or cold or something.
Not sure what the antidote would be in your case...
hehehe all my blackmailing has you making a real effort huh? :D i heart you!
Dear Fati,
Are these blackmailing tactics specifically created for Tamtam, or are they general ones that can be used on many people?
If it's the latter, please share!
specifically for tami :P
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